paranoia

I’m getting more paranoid in my old age. Not about anything that perhaps I SHOULD be worrying about (car, job, $$), but instead I find myself worrying about really stupid stuff. Like meat. I’ve spent hours agonizing about meat and fish. Why? I don’t know. There’s no good reason, but suddenly I’m SUPER concerned about food poisoning (which I’ve never had). 

This is stupid. Like I said, I’ve never actually had food poisoning. But I didn’t even eat the mussels that were cooked in my own home because of shellfish horror stories. I had ONE. And it only takes one, so I really should have just enjoyed myself and had a dozen.

And then there’s meat. I’ll eat it from a restaurant, but I’m not about to cook it myself. Chicken? Salmonella. Beef? Mad cow disease.

And then there’s the issue of personal safety. And I KNOW where this is coming from: it’s Leah. Leah’s “what you watch when there’s nothing to watch” channel is Investigative Discovery or whatever it’s called, and 24 hours a day they play reruns of 48 Hours Mystery or Disappeared or other ridiculous missing person shows. How does this affect me? I feel like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder! It’s terrible! I’m checking and re-checking the locks on the door. I’m thinking about my exit strategy, should there be an intruder coming to murder me. I’m wondering if I’m close enough to my neighbors for them to hear me scream.

Worrying is very exhausting, but I keep reminding myself that this is NOTHING compared to how work used to stress me out, so I guess I’ll just arm myself with some kind of weapon and make sure to overcook everything I eat, or go totally vegetarian.