This adventure coincided perfectly with the second season of The Walking Dead and I had multiple conversations with customers as to what one would do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. In this unlikely (let’s hope!) scenario, it seems pretty essential that one would need a gun in order to survive, and one must also be able to SHOOT that gun.

I’ve basically decided that if there is a zombie outbreak, I’m screwed. The only gun I’d ever shot before our training event was some kind of shotgun and some clay pigeons in the great state of Montana (eyeroll to all the Montanan’s reading this, you all can be SO annoying with your state pride) and though I’m PRETTY SURE I hit the clay pigeon, it’s entirely possible that it just sort of broke itself in the air.

My fingers are crossed that perhaps I just get to become a zombie without having to go through anything TOO traumatic. I’d prefer if it was just a little scratch or bite that turned me, not something horrible like a zombie clawing my chest open or having a pack of them take me down and eat me.

Anyway, after spending hours watching The Walking Dead and more hours discussing the actual likelihood of having to be prepared for such a travesty, I have come up with a list of all the ways in which I am NOT prepared for a zombie apocalypse:

1. I don’t know how to shoot a gun – I mean, not REALLY. I know how to load bullets thanks to LSA and I know how to point a gun and how to pull the trigger but I’m lost as to how to load a magazine and what sorts of guns do what. All my life I’ve had the good sense to stay AWAY from guns and it’s served me well but if zombies get involved, I ought to know how to protect myself!
2. I’m not even sure where/how to go about buying a gun – I think I could do this at Norpoint now, but can anyone just, BUY a gun? How long does one have to wait before they can take it from the store?
3. I hate running and have no endurance – so if they came after me, I’d probably make it like half a mile before they caught up to me. The zombies in The Walking Dead move fast when they want to!
4. I have never even seen a dead body – and since I’ve never seen a dead body before, I expect that I’ll be quite traumatized when I do see one – and if I see them en masse, I’m sure I’ll become catatonic and therefore at the mercy of any oncoming zombies. Eek!
5. And finally, and most importantly: if I was on the run and the entire infrastructure of the world had crumbled and therefore there were no working SHOWERS, I would have to shave my head because I would have horrible dreadlocks after a week I would likely run out of conditioner within two weeks. Talk about a nightmare!

Tuesday: President Jimmy Carter at the Paramount

What a great guy! The World Affairs Council of Seattle brought out Jimmy Carter (and practically every single person I know in this city) to celebrate their 60th Anniversary. Now, I didn’t know much about Carter before I purchased my ticket, but I viewed it as an excellent opportunity to see a former President speak, and after I did my due diligence and researched his presidency and his work as a former president, I’m super glad that I got to see him. His presidency may be regarded as one of the worst in history, but it’s what he has done SINCE that makes him such an amazing man. He was funny, gracious, honest and what I imagine true Southern gentlemen are like. I particularly appreciated his thoughts on how elections have changed over time – in his day, candidates did not accept any money from PACs, didn’t air negative campaign ads, and referred to one another as “my distinguished opponent”. Can you IMAGINE what it would be like to inject a little civility into politics? Talk about the good old days.

Wednesday: Jennifer Egan at Benaroya for Seattle Arts & Lectures

I’ve said it before, I think, but volunteering for SAL is really one of my favorite activities because a) I do it by myself and it’s literally a “just for me” kind of thing, and b) I get to see really awesome authors speak and sometimes I get to meet them and have my books autographed. I have a sick addiction to books lately, to be honest. I feel like I’m constantly buying them but rarely reading them. I need to get better about that.

Anyway, Jennifer Egan talked about her writing as a novelist and as a journalist, and how she has two completely different approaches to each. For example, she writes her novels by hand, but types her articles on the computer. She talked about her process as she researches for articles, her failures (but ultimate triumph) in writing about the music industry, and afterwards signed my book with a “I hope our paths cross in the future”, which I hope too because I have since read nearly all of the articles on her website and would love to speak more with her about her work. And she was SO nice!

Thursday: Shootin’ and Drinkin‘ with LivingSocial

You guys, guns are scary. And I am rightfully scared of them, though I am apparently 100392 times MORE scared of them then the rest of the LivingSocial Adventures team. We drove up to Norpoint Shooting Range on Thursday night to do a run-through of our upcoming adventure which starts next Sunday. We’ll be taking bus-loads of people to shoot handguns and rifles (terrifying) and then to Scuttlebutt Brewery for a tour and then to their restaurant for dinner! Quite a day – and also a sold out event so if you’re reading this and you didn’t get the deal, too bad for you!

Back to shooting though – I started out in the rifle bay and when the first shot was fired I jumped back in terror and thought about how AWFUL it must be to live in a war-torn country where you have to hear guns fire regularly! It is so loud and awful and I’m kind of upset just thinking about it. I refused to fire them until I decided that it is maybe better to UNDERSTAND a gun in case I ever need to use one (god forbid) and then I discovered that I was actually rather good at it because I shot the target through the head on my first try.

So now I know kind of how to shoot an AK47 (not really sure if I shot one of those but it was something like that) and also some Glock 9s (not sure if I shot that either but whatever) and I can load magazines and I can kind of tolerate the sound though I jump at first and flinch a lot the rest of the time.

Friday: Most beautiful February Day Ever (except for every single day since!) + a great haircut at VAIN + the Building Bake-Off

Friends, it’s been such an incredibly gorgeous few days in Seattle that you can’t help but look outside at one of our breath-taking views and think, “I get to live HERE?! How lucky am I?” I’ve said THIS before too, but seriously, people live here because the beautiful days in Seattle make you forget about how crappy and rainy it can be the rest of the time. And the fact that we’re having these coat-less days in February and that my latest pair of TOMS have yet to be ruined by rain is pretty miraculous.

After doing a venue site visit, I had a few hours to kill before I was to get my hair groomed by the lovely Alexis at Vain, so I decided to walk down to the Sculpture Park and sit in the sun for an hour and marvel at how beautiful the day was. Then I took a walk downtown and window-shopped before we chopped off a centimeter that feels like 6 inches of hair and then rushed home to bake.

Saturday: Volunteering with The Service Girls at YouthCare

I’ll write more about this in another post, but January’s Service Girls call was with YouthCare, an awesome organzation whose building I walk by regularly and have always wondered what is going on inside.

YouthCare serves Seattle’s homeless youth population – a population of more than 4,000 – a number which shocked me. They have a “continuum of care” approach that starts with outreach and basic needs, shelter and housing, education, employment and training. I was really inspired by this organization and I hope you’ll take a minute to learn about their work. If you won’t do it now, I’ll force you to read another post about in a few days.

Sunday: Superbowl and Oklahoma!

I didn’t care about the Superbowl but I DID want Superbowl food, and Kendall is convinced that going to sports bars is a good way to meet the love of my life (disagree, but whatever), so we ended up at The Tap House for food and beer before heading over to the 5th Avenue Theatre for Oklahoma!

Except… it wasn’t really Oklahoma as I remembered it from the movie. No, Jud was African American and he portrayed to be a terrorizing monster which of course was all part of an underlying tone of racism which made me uncomfortable and that was hard to ignore. I wish we HAD been able to ignore it – that and the weird dance-y sex-y scene that was strange but ultimately my takeaways were that Curly is a cutie and Laurey was stupid to play games that whole time and thank god they have Aunt Eller around to talk sense to everyone and keep them all in line.

Nevertheless! An enjoyable evening and musicals are fun. Oh and it was FREE! thanks to The 5th Ave’s community day showing. We had awesome balcony seats that Kendall estimated were $100+ and we had four of them for the price of waiting in line at 7am.

Anyway, my list is 32 places long, and the majority of them are conveiniently located in Capitol Hill, which is fantastic because it will entice people to head over this-a-way. I’ve already made some progress in the past two weeks:

1. Revel - I’ve been reading about Revel for the last year and have desperately wanted to try it, except that it’s in Fremont and was never open when I was in the neighborhood. Kendall and I stopped by the Quoin Bar at Revel for happy hour instead of going to yoga last week, and let me tell you – 90 minutes there was much better than 90 minutes in a Bikram Yoga class. Try the pork belly pancake and the short rib dumplings. No picture available because (shockingly enough) my phone was dead.

2. Taylor Shellfish Farms - this place is delightful! And expensive! But it’s so delightful that I didn’t really care that we paid $20 for some spot prawns that we had to clean once we got home. Because it’s so fun to see the open baskets of shellfish in the middle of the room – ready for you to pick them out. They have crabs and lobsters and GEODUCKS and clams and mussels and oysters and scallops – and a fine selection of wines to pair them with.

3. RN74 – As I mentioned in an earlier post, all the talk and hype around this restaurant, in addition to my experiences in Michael Mina restaurants made me feel intimidated to walk in, but I was pleasantly surprised by their great happy hour. Below, truffle popcorn and tuna poppers.

4. Montana - our new favorite neighborhood bar! It’s a teeny tiny spot on Olive Way, next to Tacos Gringos and The Elite. They have a fantastic little photo booth, a saddle you can sit on as a stool (though I wouldn’t recommend it for an extended period of time) and they’re experimenting with carbonated liquor which meant I had several tasty blood orange tequila fizzy drinks (and then some Bud Light because that’s what Montanans would do). The photo booth also only takes credit cards, which is both awesome and dangerous.

5. The Rock Wood Fired Pizza – hip hip hooray! Our favorite place in Tacoma has now opened up a spot in Queen Anne, attached to the Maxwell Hotel. This means we can have brown-sugar mozzarella bread whenever our hearts desire – that, or the My Generation pizza. OR a bucket of liquor – OR a LAVA LAMP drink in a glass that lights up and has a jello shot in it. I’m collecting the glasses so if you happen to get one, save it for me! 

First of all, I’ve been terrible at my calendar and didn’t realize until it was too late that I’d signed up to volunteer at the Women’s Funding Alliance Art of Dining event on Thursday evening. Despite my best efforts to prep ahead of time, it turns out that British food doesn’t really take very long to make, so there was little to do until it was actually time to eat. Therefore most of my pre-party-prep was assembling the gift bags for my guests (mini tiaras and princess wands in a rose petal gift bag), making glittery crowns to put along the walkway and decorate-able crowns for anyone who didn’t bring their own head gear.

I also found W & C napkins, cute pink party plates and unearthed a British flag change purse that my Aunt Sarah gave me a zillion years ago to add to the decor.

I raided the British food section of QFC and emerged with the following items: Wine Gums (quite delicious), Smarties (basically M&Ms but I think each color has a slightly different flavor), beans (for beans on toast), treacle (wasn’t brave enough to open it so we’re saving it for a rainy day), HP Sauce (“brown sauce” – didn’t try it) and Wheatmeal biscuits (also didn’t try). Party-guest Katey K brought spotted dick which is now sitting on the shelf with the treacle.

Menu-items included:

• Beans on toast
• Trifle – well done, Email-Liz!
• Bangers & Mash
• Bubble & Squeak
• Crumpets – holy crap, crumpets are DELICIOUS. I want them every day of my life!
• Banana bread – thank you, LB & L!
• Salmon dip
• Croquembouche – that’s for you, mom!

“Oh no i overslept! But I had a crazy dream that was way more dramatic in which kate balks and goes running back up the aisle. And some TV station airs a movie about old king arthur that spliced in wedding footage in real time.” – Viv

“I’m SO upset. Pink champagne, three different pot pies (curry, steak and potatoes and marsala) and OK Royal Wedding issue were sitting by the door. I thought, I’ll just sleep for an hour or two and then head over. An alarm clock fail later and I woke up at 5am. DAMMIT!” – Kendall

“I missed it! Note to self, when taking a nap, be sure to set the alarm for the correct 12:30- not pm…. Looks like the wedding party was super awesome- I’m sad I missed it! (also, let’s go dancing some time soon)” – Kylie

“OMG! I just realized the royal wedding party was yesterday morning, not now! My alarm went off and I started getting dressed!” – Uma (this one is my favorite)

To put it in a nutshell: massive Target shopping spree (best cutting board ever), almond/coconut macaroons, La Bete, The Living Room, re:public, Blush. Spring cleaning! Asparagus and red onion salad, roasted orange cauliflower, rotisserie chicken, blue cheese mashed potatoes. Moon-gazing picnic above the I-90 bridge. Hot tub, Waka Flocka Flame, Forgetting Sarah Marshall (take 1), brownies. More spring cleaning! A trip to the Goodwill resulting in new chairs and plates! New curtains. White chicken enchiladas. Super Mario. The most disappointing series finale ever. Houseguest.The Fighter. Laundry.

• I went to see Tracy Kidder speak at Benaroya Hall thanks to Seattle Arts & Lectures and picked up a copy of Strength in What Remains, which I’m excited to start reading.
• I’ve been having an internal battle about whether or not to buy a Kindle, and I’ve ultimately decided to hold off because I want one for the wrong reasons. I want a Kindle because current Kindle owners have stopped buying real books and can’t share them with me, so now I don’t want to share books with anyone else either. See? That’s the wrong reason.
• I have been trying to get back into Bikram yoga. It’s hard. Was it always this hard? I’ve gone to the Sweatbox in Shoreline and tried out Yoga to the People in the UDistrict which was surprisingly nice and fantastically affordable- only $8 bucks!
• “We” finally  made it all the way through Super Mario Brothers – and by “we” I mean Shane. He literally picked us up and carried us through Level 8 in about 20 minutes. It probably would have taken us 20 WEEKS if we’d had to do it alone.
• I’m banning myself from my favorite bar.
• I made this quinoa soup, which got better after a night in the refrigerator and with some sour cream. I also made some broccoli/potato croquettes which were nothing to write home about.
• I watched Any Human Heart and have renewed my love for Masterpiece Theater, which means I’m an old lady.
• OH! I went snowmobiling! And I took awesome pictures which are stuck on my camera because I can’t find my camera cord.
• We celebrated Emily’s birthday at the Sea Garden and Bush Garden – and again – I took awesome pictures which are stuck on my camera because I can’t find my camera cord.
• Cadbury Mini Eggs hit the shelves a few weeks ago, and they are irresistible. Well, actually – the dark chocolate ones ARE resistible – I think they’re gross.
• Thai Fusion on Nickerson Street by Seattle Pacific University is pretty awesome. Go.

The bagel was delicious and satisfying. The ratio of cream cheese to wood-fired bagel was quite generous. But my absolute favorite part of the experience was this:

A giant crossword puzzle on the wall - individual copies of which are available for you fill out at a table or at your leisure. Neat huh?

I’m a bit confused as to what the argument was about, but I watched it escalate over the course of 15 minutes- and by the end of it, the customer was bright red and practically had smoke billowing out of his ears. I have no doubt that Comcast was trying to rip him off, but I also watched him lose his cool to the extent that he lost all credibility (he wasn’t even making sense by the end!) and I watched with raised eyebrows as he finally stormed out.

The 15 or so people in the store let out a collective sigh of relief when he was gone, and I finished up my 5-star experience just a few minutes later. But as I was rummaging around in my purse for the key (balancing the cable box and all the equipment like a fool) a car (HIS CAR!) came screeching into the parking lot and the man got out and stormed back in!

Isn’t it just awful that I actually paused to make sure that he didn’t have a gun? And then that I dawdled for a moment in the parking lot to make sure he didn’t shoot the place up? And THEN that I rummaged around to find a pen and write down his license plate # just in case he shot up the place after I left?

Sad world.